Today
by Black Fire
Summary: Qui Gon lives in the moment.


Rating: G  
  
Summery: Qui Gon lives in the moment.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable from Star Wars. This story is  
  
written without permission and not for profit.  
  
Beta read by Kitty and Marnie, who were both a huge help.  
  
Today is the greatest Day I've ever known. Can't live for tomorrow I might not  
  
last that long.  
  
* Smashing Pumpkins  
  
Qui Gon Jinn left the forest and headed out into the grasslands, the tall  
  
flowering stalks of dragongrass rustling against the tops of his boots as he  
  
waded through them. He went slowly at first, making each step symbolic, an  
  
effort to leave behind something he did not need. A step beyond stupid  
  
quarrels. A step beyond the strangling chafing cord the Jedi order sometimes  
  
seemed to bind him with. A step beyond the greed and cruelty that had  
  
surrounded them the past few days. A smile at his own imagination as he  
  
looked back and almost thought he could see those things leering spitefully at  
  
him from the forest's edge. A step beyond the needful, deep, and subtle  
  
chanting of the Force, the only thing he could not and would not wish to leave  
  
behind forever. Then something inside seemed to snap and unravel and his  
  
strides became longer, looser, almost coursing although he remained at an  
  
unhurried walk, out into the grasslands.  
  
Throughout his years of service to the Jedi he had learned to take his rest  
  
when and where he could. This mission had tested him more than most, and  
  
still was not over. And yet there was still a little time, they would not need him,  
  
he could sleep undisturbed out here. He came to a low rise like a gentle wave  
  
in the sea of green and lay down on his back in the tall grass on the far side of  
  
it. Qui Gon stretched out full length on the earth, sinking into the crumpled  
  
grass. He could feel the energy of the planes infusing him as closed his eyes.  
  
War was about to break out, he knew that. People were going to die, and soon  
  
this day would belong to ugly violence. What were now ordinary lives would be  
  
destroyed by tomorrow morning. This planet would never again be as innocent  
  
as it was now, and neither would he.  
  
But there were still a few hours more. This time was precious; it must be lived  
  
with the greatest reverence. Qui Gon's heart ached with love for this doomed  
  
peace and life. He knew that the force of his will could not save it, so he let it  
  
burn itself into him, everything, the pulsing rhythm of the grasslands, those  
  
that were suffering and might be helped, those that were safe and might soon  
  
suffer, the pathetic but precious innocence of a planet under siege and a Jedi  
  
Master whose heart knew evil and pain. The immediacy of those things  
  
resonated in every cell of his body, alive with the energy of the Force. He was  
  
so close to everything around him, everything was so vivid it was like a  
  
dagger's edge cutting right through to his soul.  
  
Any need for sleep was driven from him. He got to his feet, and lifted his face  
  
towards the bright sky, fiercely cherishing the life around him, the life within  
  
him. The world was so full of pulsing light and warmth that only when he felt  
  
reflexive tears streaming down his face did he realize he was staring full into  
  
the sun. It was all so beautiful that for a moment he didn't care. He wanted to  
  
stare until he went blind, till the tears turned to blood, just so this would be the  
  
last thing he would see. Qui Gon finally tore his gaze away and laughed at  
  
himself, the deep joyous sound shaking his chest, because even to his  
  
dazzled, dimmed eyes the rolling green grassland, even the half trampled  
  
stalks and earth at his feet seemed infinitely more gorgeous.  
  
Qui Gon stood, a Jedi Master perched silently on the crest of a tiny rise in the  
  
center of vast, soft, undulating plains, the breeze rustling the folds of his robes  
  
around him and drying his face. He felt like his mind and body had been split  
  
open, filled with the raw essence of the force, and made whole again. He was  
  
still aware of tragedy coming, not through the Force but by hard experience,  
  
but that did not make the moment bitter, somehow. Howling ache of sorrow.  
  
Laughing song of joy. He was at peace with both.  
  
He waited still, so still, raw and open untill Obi Wan came looking for him,  
  
following the invisible path he had left through the grass. Their eyes met, clear,  
  
but still a little fragile with a balance just rebuilt not for the first, second, or  
  
even third time. A sigh escaped Qui Gon. Sometimes it seemed peace  
  
between his apprentice and him was as miraculous as the harmony he had  
  
just felt, and just as important.  
  
"Master, the Queen is waiting. We have to move on the palace now."  
  
The first rumblings of violence sparked through Qui Gon like an electric charge.  
  
Empathetic pain through the force. He nodded. Yes, the twin battles were  
  
starting; they would have to move quickly now. Today was living and dying as  
  
they spoke, and could not be wasted. He would have to fight, with his  
  
lightsaber and without, but he could do that. He left the grassy hill to rejoin the  
  
others. Obi Wan found himself waiting, looking after Qui Gon for a moment,  
  
and then followed him.  
  
The End 


End file.
